One thing super successful people don’t do!

Super successful people do not interrupt others.
Over the years I have worked with the best facilitators in North and South Americas and Europe.
I hired them to facilitate sessions for our advertising agency’s clients, which were largely Fortune 500 to Fortune 100 companies. In our sessions, I worked regularly with C-level managers.
I noticed what most of these facilitators and executive leaders had in common was they did not interrupt others while the others were expressing their thoughts.
I grew up in Greece, where the Mediterranean conversational custom is for people to speak on top of others when excited about an idea.  Then I moved to New York City, where the custom was pretty much the same.
It took Gene Reilly, an excellent facilitator with a highly respected qualitative research company in Connecticut, to show me another way. One day, when he and I were walking through an airport together, he looked at me and said in a very thoughtful way: “Harry, you have a problem.”
My quick response: “Gene, if I only have one problem that’s good!” “What is it?”
Gene responded: “You are a ‘selective listener’”.
I asked: “And how do I cure that?”
Gene: “Go to George Prince in Boston and learn about creative problem-solving. They will teach you how to hone your listening skills.”
A one-week course with George Prince led to further explorations in complex problem-solving processes with Sid Parnes, father of Creative Problem Solving; and Alex Osborn, father of the brainstorming process.
My listening skills improved: I learned to keep my mouth shut when someone else was talking, and to take notes instead of interrupting.  I also developed a deep appreciation for how what I now call Generous Listening can energize a problem-solving session.

When a client feels truly heard, he/she is likelier to open up and provide lots more information to show me a fuller picture of the challenge at hand. I learned how to invite information the client might not even have realized was relevant, to probe and reframe an issue, formulate relevant questions, and paraphrase what was said for maximum clarity.
Here’s where not interrupting became so important.  If I were to interrupt someone I’m working with, they might become distracted and lose their train of thought. Important information could be left behind rather than shared.  When I listen with attentive care, I can see the whole picture, and learn more useful details.
Now I have a T-shirt which students made for one of my classes that reads: “Listen Generously”.
Without a mentor like Gene Reilly, I would never have known what the power of Generous Listening could provide.  And I might not be in the business of complex problem solving and innovation, which I enjoy so much, today.
Listening is a skill you can develop and improve. We, at Creative Focus, can help improve your and your team’s communications skills!
Make it a great life!
Harry

Get three colleagues together or divide your group into triads. Assign letters A, B and C to members of each team. Ask the As to step out of the room and privately instruct them to be a fly on the wall and observe what happens when the Bs and afterward the Cs share stories.

Instruct the Cs to listen intently and quietly when they are hearing a story from the Bs.
Instruct the Bs to continuously interrupt, ask questions, or seem indifferent and look elsewhere when the Cs are talking. .( Give these instructions before the A’s are invited in the room)

Then invite the A’s back into the room.  B will tell a story for 1 to 1.5 minutes to attentive listener C.  C will then tell a story for equal time to disruptive listener B.

For the debrief, ask the A’s for their observations and their FEELINGS! Then invite the B’s and C’s to share.